


Love, You're not Alone: I'm gonna Stand By You

by sunflower_smiles



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Civil War Team Captain America, F/M, Family, Fluff and Angst, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, On the Run, Parent Natasha Romanov, Parent Steve Rogers, Pre-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Protective Natasha Romanov, romanogers - Freeform, team as a family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2020-06-26 01:38:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19757944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflower_smiles/pseuds/sunflower_smiles
Summary: Steve and Natasha have been friends, good friends, really. But when the world shifts under their feet, and they are on the run with a teenager with PTSD, new relationships are created, others broken, and familiar faces seen again. The avengers may be broken, but they will always have each other's back.***"Natasha shook her head wildly. “We can’t do this. I can’t --, It’s not fair, It’s not right.” Her eyes welled with tears. Dammit. She knew this was a mistake she couldn’t come back from. The Black Widow does not love. The Black Widow does not feel.“Nat, Please don’t leave,” Steve grasped her hand tightly and sadly gazed into her emerald eyes.“I’m so sorry, Steve.” With a cruel twist of fate and a metaphorical knife lodged in his heart, Steve watched helplessly as she disappeared out of his sight again."***This series explores their relationship from Civil War through the end of Endgame. Also included are my predictions for the Black Widow movie.FIRST TWO CHAPTER EDITED AND REWRITTEN. PLEASE READ.





	1. Sharing laughter

**Author's Note:**

> This is the start of a series starting with before Civil War all the way to endgame. It's going to explore a lot of character relationships that were kinda overlooked in the MCU. It will be mostly headcannon, with some cannon moments intertwined, and more non-cannon storylines. Just read and enjoy :)
> 
> Title comes from 2015 Rachel Platten's song Stand by Me.
> 
> Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through Hell with you  
> Love, you're not alone, 'cause I'm gonna stand by you

“Do I really have to come,” Wanda whined. The nineteen-year-old brunette was laying down on her bed in the Avengers Compound staring annoyedly at the red-headed spy standing in the doorway. “No one really knows who I am and it won’t really matter if I show up or not.”

Natasha replied, her lips pursed, “You’re an Avenger now, and Fury wants us to keep appearances. It’s good press, and it helps keep our image up if anything goes to shit later.” Natasha offered a small smile, and tilted her head at Wanda, “Come on, I’ll help you with your hair.”

Wanda groaned, but then stood up and sat down in a chair that Natasha kicked towards her. She plugged in the curling iron into the wall and waited for it to heat up. After a beat of comfortable silence, Natasha looked quizzically at Wanda, “You’re nervous?” she asked, less like a question and more like a statement. Wanda nodded. 

“You don’t need to be worried. Most of the press is just there for formalities, and once you get inside, we’ll make sure no one bothers you if that’s what you want. Just stick with me or Steve or Sam. Vision’s coming too, and Clint. He’s really excited to see you again. He needs someone to show off baby Nate to,” Natasha smiled, “Just have a good night, okay?”

Wanda’s face clouded, and after a moment she replied,“It just doesn’t seem right, Natasha. None of it makes sense. I don't know what it’s like to have a good night. Ever since, um, our parents died, we just had time to keep living.” Wanda took a breath. “It doesn’t seem right to have fun and have a good time, when there is suffering and pain, and I can’t sleep without seeing my dead brother” She trailed off. 

Natasha heart broke. “I know what that feels like,” she took a breath, “When I first came into SHIELD, and went to one of their parties, it seemed so much of a waste. I felt so out of place- me being an assassin sipping champagne and watching Clint get drunk. I told myself that I didn’t deserve happiness. It took me awhile, but I realized it doesn’t take away from anyone else’s happiness for you to have a good time yourself. It’s okay to have fun and be happy,” Natasha smiled softly, “You deserve it, Wanda.”

Natasha took Wanda by the hand, as she picked up the curling iron, and curled Wanda’s hair with her precision and efficiency until the soft curls framed her face. “Um, okay. Look up.” Nat took a brush applying some foundation on Wanda’s face. “Now close your eyes.” The redhead applied eyeshadow, and mascara, and a highlight to her face, before Wanda opened her eyes and looked in the mirror.

“Wow. It looks..” Wanda smiled at her reflection in the mirror- her eyes were glowing, her cheeks highlighted, her smile brightly plastered on her face. The lines of worry and stress were wiped off, and her eyes shone brightly. She was happy-- she was happy.

“You look amazing Wanda. Now pucker your lips.” Natasha then deftly applied a red lipstick onto Wanda’s lips, making them pop. “There. All finished. You look great, now just choose something to wear.”

Wanda frowned, “I don’t really have anything fancy.”

“Don’t worry about that. You can borrow one of my dresses.” Natasha smiled, glad to be like an older sister. It was nice, just the two of them, sharing clothes, doing their hair. It almost made them forget their superheroic alter ego. Wanda settled on wearing one of Natasha’s maroon jumpsuits with a halter neck and a low back. It was cute and stylish, and had pockets which made everything a hundred times better. She put on the dress, borrowed a pair of red dangly earrings and wore silver stilettos. As she twirled and looked at her reflection in the mirror, Wanda couldn’t help but feel free and happy.

The two then climbed down the stairs of the Avengers compound to the garage waiting for Steve and Sam to come so they could drive to Stark Tower. Growing impatient, Nat called down from the stairs, “Look Sam, Steve! If you guys don’t show up in another two minutes, Wanda and I are going. Seriously Rogers, how long does it take--” 

Steve bounded down the stairs apologizing, “Sorry, Sam said something and I--” His breath got caught in his throat. In front of him stood a vision of beauty.Natasha decided to wear a deep v-neck emerald green floor length dress. It fit her beautifully, showing off her curves. Her red hair was held in a low bun, and a few loose hairs swept behind her neck. She was glowing, practically radiant, and Steve’s eyes lit up with adoration.“Wow. Nat. You look beautiful.” 

Natasha smiled kindly and amused, “Well, you look good too.” She raised an eyebrow as Steve smiled and blushed, scratching the back of his neck.

The two of them had been partners for years, lead missions together, and were the heart and soul of the avengers. The unofficial “mom and dad” of the team, the two had been dancing around their own feelings for what seemed like ages. As Natasha leaned over to fix Steve’s tie and as he brushed a few stray hairs out of her face, Wanda could help but think that she was intruding on a private moment. Their eyes were locked into each other’s gaze, and their laughter seemed to echo within their own bubble. 

“This is awkward.” a voice sounded. 

Natasha and Steve immediately straightened out their trance. Sam laughed at the two and raised and eyebrow, “Really? Captain America and Ms. Black Widow? Who would have thought?”

“We’re not dating Sam.” Steve replied, his ear turning pink. 

“Yeah, right,” Sam frowned in disbelief, “You guys are just a bunch of hopeless kids.”

Natasha rolled her eyes, “You’re only dishing out advice because Maria finally asked you out.”

“Yeah, I’m excited,” Sam grinned widely, “I can’t wait to see her.” 

Wanda rolled her eyes at the lovestruck “teenagers” before her eyes. “Let’s get going,” she replied, “We don’t want to be late!”

***

The car ride was quiet but comfortable, but as they got closer to the tower, Wanda’s anxiety grew. She was restless and her heart was beating loudly. 

How could she do this. There were going to be so many people. And they were all going to be watching her. And What if she messes up? Or trips on her heels?

Steve was the first to notice, as he glanced at her through the rear-view mirror.

“Nat...” he said quietly, nodding his head towards Wanda. Natasha understood, and turned in her seat to look at Wanda. 

“Wanda look at me.” 

Wanda leaned his back up against the car, closing her eyes. Natasha took a deep breath and motioned for Wanda to copy her. Natasha grasped her hands tightly, rubbing circles soothingly. Wanda tried to focus on her soft voice, telling her to breath, her strong presence while she sat with her. The brunette straightened up and swallowed. “Hey, Wanda. We’re all here for you. I promise that you will have fun. Just try to relax.”

“Yeah.” Steve added, “If you’re not having a good time, Nat and I can take you home, okay?”

“Okay,” Wanda managed to squeak out. Natasha grabbed her hand for a second to reassure her. Then Steve parked the car near the tower, and the four of them made their way to the Stark Charity Gala for the new hospital. 

***

Tony Stark knew how to throw a party. 

So he had no idea why his hands were shaking. _Damm._ Too much coffee, too little time. Pepper left him (his fault, he knows). Guilt was definitely a major player in his life. Always there. Comes up during the worst possible times. _Shit._ The Gala. Had to call Happy, then call the catering, then the rich people to come and ease some of their conscience. _And his too._

Tony didn’t know exactly what he was feeling guilty about at the moment. Whether it was Slovakia, or Stane, or his weapons- he didn’t know, but he felt guilty. 

_The Avengers!_ he thought, _They’ll come, it’ll be fun, a little get together, team bonding._ He laughed a little to himself. 

So he called them. And they’re coming. And the food is here. And the rich people are here. And it’s time to make his entrance. He took a breath. 

***

Natasha, Steve, Sam, and Wanda made their way into the Gala just as the music started playing and drinks started to flow around. As people made their way onto the dance floor, and others made their way to the food, Wanda started to relax. She knew it’ll be okay. Looking around, Sam spotted a familiar face near the bar, and said, “Hey! Maria’s over there. I’m going to say hi. Y’all have fun.”

“Use protection.” Natasha amusingly shouted out, as Sam ran off with a grin on his face.

“Hey! Red, Capsicle, kid.” a voice called out to them.

“Tony,” Natasha said, with an eyebrow raised. “Quite the party you’re throwing.”

"Yeah, well the money goes to build the new children’s hospital. So, walk around, and smile, and make people give their money.”

Steve smiled. “It’s good that you’re doing this. It’ll help a lot of people.”

“Yeah. The least I could do,” Tony gave a half-smile. “Well, um, you all have fun,” then pointing at Wanda, said, “Don’t drink, you’re underage.” 

Natasha laughed. “Please, like you ever followed rules.”

“Yeah. I know, and look at how I turned up.” he forced a smile. He took a breath. “Don’t be like me. Don’t drink like crazy, but a little is okay. And Katniss over there is really excited to see you.” he pointed to the food table where Clint was busy stuffing a plate with appetizers. He smiled and waved when he saw Wanda. 

“I’m going to see him,” Wanda replied.

“Go. Have fun,” Natasha waved her off.

“What are you two up to?” Tony singsonged.

“No Pepper?,” Steve countered. 

“Um. We’re taking a break,” Tony replied sadly, “It’s no one’s fault really. Um, but kinda my fault. I’m a mess. Ever since Slovakia, and the whole thing with the Mandarin, she’s given me so many chances. And she deserves better. So, um, yeah.”

“Oh, Tony. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.” Steve replied. He knew how much Pepper meant to Tony.

“Well, you two have fun and donate. The children are counting on it.” he waved them off and started making the rounds around the party.

As light, dancing music started to play from the speakers, Steve wondered, “Is this Ed Sheeran,” clearly proud of his newfound ability to understand pop music. 

“Not even close,” Nat replied, amused. Steve looked confused. “But--”

“Just forget about it,” then hesitantly, she added, “Want to dance?”

Steve placed his hands on her waist, and brushed a curl out of her face. He smiled, “I’d love to.”

***

“Wow!,” Clint exclaimed. “Look at you all grown up.”

Wanda smiled, “Yeah, yeah, shut up Clint. Is Laura here?” Wanda added.

Clint clutched his chest in mock hurt, “You too? I need friends that like me more than they like my wife.”

“But, it's Laura. She’s, she’s--”

“She’s wonderful. Laura’s here, getting a drink I think,” Clint smiled a little to himself. “I’m the luckiest guy in the world. Hey!,” he pointed at the dance floor, “Look! Our crazy kids are making a move.”

Wanda smiled. Maybe today was the day Steve and Nat would finally confess their feelings.

***

After a few hours, some charity auctions, more alcohol, and empty pockets, the rich and famous of New York City left Stark tower, leaving the avengers behind to relax and talk a little. Sam and Maria had danced the night away, making out like teenagers, while Thor and Vision (!) had gotten themselves drunk on Asgardian Mead. All of them, including Laura and Clint, Wanda, Steve and Natasha, and Rhodey were gathered around the couches. Shoes had been long forgotten and ties were loosened. Tony thought this was the perfect time for some team bonding. 

“We’re going to play spin the Hammer,” he gladly exclaimed. 

“Spin the what?” Maria quizzically asked.

“Like spin the bottle, but instead of making out, the person who Mjölnir lands on chooses to tell a truth or do a dare.” Stark explained. 

“Tony. We’re not twelve year old girls at a sleepover. We’re adults.” Natasha said pointedly, with a drink in her hand. 

“Exactly, Red. That’s why it’ll be fun,” Tony grinned.

“This is going to end well,” Nat took a sip, as Thor spun the Hammer.

***

“Laura!” 

Sam spoke, “My question. How the hell did you two meet?

“Um. Well, I’m a data scientist and I was working at a hospital in Chicago,” Laura started, “where Clint was working for Shield. He needed help on a case, and I got roped into one of Shield’s messy fights, and then he got shot. But then I saved him, and then one thing just led to another. And now we have three kids.” She smiled brightly, sitting on Clint’s lap. He wrapped his arms around her and snuck a sip from her drink.

“Aww!” Thor exclaimed, “That is very adorable. You midgardians have wonderful stories of falling in love. You see once I met a woman, a really smart women. She was very beautiful too. Jane was her name,” his face fell. “but then she left me. And it was sad.”

Rhodey just waved his hand. “Just spin the hammer. He’s had too much to drink.”

***

An hour later, after a drunken rendition of karaoke with Clint and Laura (wHaT iS lOve… bAby DoN’t hUrT mE), summoning Mjölnir from three stories above (it came crashing through the roof), Thor getting a tattoo saying ‘RIP Loki’ by Rhodey (“How the hell do you have a tattoo gun”), more shots, crazy dares, and drunken revelations of secrets (“I accidentally killed Stark’s fish and replaced it with another one”), Tony decided it was time for one final round. 

“Natasha!”

“Um. Dare.”

“Oh! I got a good one,” Tony grinned, “I dare you to kiss Cap.”

Steve blushed furiously, “Tony, that’s not fair.”

“Yeah, it is,” Sam replied, “Natasha chose dare and she has to follow through.”

“Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!” Natasha rolled her eyes at the chorus of chants and screaming, but her heart was beating wildly internally. “No way. You guys do not get a show today.” She picked up her drink, and with a raise of her eyebrows, left the room to the balcony. Steve mumbled half an apology and followed Natasha outside. 

***

The moonlight illuminated the highlight on her face and the specks of gold in his eyes. The New York skyline glistened below them with the flow of traffic lights and cars. The Brooklyn Bridge shone in the distance, and sky twinkled with the light of a thousand splendid stars. 

“It’s beautiful outside.” Natasha whispered. 

“Yeah, it is so amazing,” Steve dared a sideways glance at Natasha. God, she was a vision, glowing under the light of the stars. “When we were kids, Bucky and I used to camp out on the roof with our neighbors to see the stars. It was one giant community, all of us immigrants trying to look for a better life in the stars on those steps.”

“I guess we all look to the stars for hope,” She wistfully reminisce, rubbing her arms to keep herself warm. Steve placed an arm around her shoulders and she leaned into his embrace and warmth, “When I was in the Red Room, they never let us see the sunset. It was something so shallow and seemed to insignificant, but seeing the sun set for the first time, gave me myself back. I look at the stars and they remind me that things will get better.”

“That’s really profound,” Steve answered her.

She smirked a smile, “I guess I’m picking up your old man talk after all.”

Steve rolled her eyes playfully, and then spun her into his embrace. Her breath hitched. They were close, so close- inches apart but miles between them. Natasha took one step closer, and Steve brushed a stray curl out of her face. Steve wrapped an arm around her waist and she placed a hand to his cheek, closing the gap between their hearts. 

Natasha wrapped her hands around his neck, and standing on her tiptoes, she kissed him. His lips parted with a breath of surprise, and with a mustering his courage he kissed her back. It was soft and chaste, yet it seemed like a promise, a revelation of something more. It was truly beautiful- their hands on each other, surrounded by glowing lights of the city. 

Yet, Natasha pulled away quickly, and her eyes darkened. It wasn’t right, it wasn’t fair. This was a mistake. Steve looked like a crushed puppy. 

“I am so sorry,” Natasha breathed out, her heart thumping, threatening to spill out of her chest. 

“Natasha. You know that we both want this.” Steve defiantly spoke back. 

Natasha shook her head wildly. “We can’t do this. I can’t --, It’s not fair, It’s not right.” Her eyes welled with tears. _Dammit._ She knew this was a mistake she couldn’t come back from. _The Black Widow does not love. The Black Widow does not feel._

“Nat, Please don’t leave,” Steve grasped her hand tightly and sadly gazed into her emerald eyes. 

“I’m so sorry, Steve.” With a cruel twist of fate and a metaphorical knife lodged in his heart, Steve watched helplessly as she disappeared out of his sight again.


	2. Training Session

“Peter Parker!” Natasha yelled frustratedly. “You can’t keep swinging your fist blindly. Fighting does not work that way.”

The spy and her trainee where in the Avenger’s facilities training gym, standing inside a boxing ring.

“But aren’t you trying to beat up the bad guy. It’s better this way. No one will see me coming.” He whined and flopped over onto the mat. “This is never going to work.”

The sixteen-year-old was an endless ball of energy and sass. After he got over his awe of meeting the avengers, he was simply youthful energy that needed to be harnessed. He was good, Natasha had to admit, but his indecisiveness and rashness drove her up a wall. He was everything she wasn’t- rash, hasty, and talkative. So much talking.

“Pete. I’ve been trained by the KGB, SHIELD, and a dozen other people you’ll be glad to never meet.” Peter gulped. “So pay attention and listen. It will help you one day. Okay?”

“Okay,” he sighed. 

“Good,” she softened her voice. “Now, don’t attack blindly. Choose your actions meaningfully. Anticipate what I am going to do, and counter your stance to absorb that,” she pointed to her hand, “I’m a lefty, so most of my weight will be on my right foot to support me when I fight.” 

Natasha countered, and punched with her left hand, then Peter shifted his weight to his right sided to block her punch.

“Good,” She nodded approvingly.” You’re getting the hang of it. You have to trust your gut.”

“I don’t really understand. Usually, if I’m on patrol there’s only a few robberies or attacks that I really need to help with. Mostly I’m just the friendly neighborhood Spiderman direction giver.”

Nat smiled, she had to admit he was really cute sometimes, kinda like out of the ice, 2012 Steve. 

“Just try again.” Peter nodded. He punched her shoulder, but Natasha grabbed his arm before he could attempt any other move. He then tried to swing out of her grip, but Natasha ended up flipping him over pinning him to the mat.

“Ouch.” Peter grimaced.

“You’ll get better with practice.” Nat replied, helping him up.

“I won’t have an arm then.” 

Natasha sighed and laughed. “Okay. We’re going to try something new. I want you to learn to trust your instincts.” She stepped out of the ring and found a piece of cloth and two water bottles. She tossed one to Peter, and he gulped it down. The redhead took the cloth and placed it as a blindfold around Peter’s eyes.

“Ummm. Natasha, what are you exactly doing?”

“You’re going to learn to trust yourself and rely on your other senses. You’re going to be in a fight one day where you can’t see, but you should be able to get out of it by using your other senses.”

“I don’t think this is a good idea.” Peter said worriedly.

“It’ll be fun. I promise.” Natasha spun him around a few times before taking her position on the edge of the match. She circled around him, silent as a cat. 

“Ready?”

Peter took a step forward and back indecisively. He put his hands in front to see if he could grab anything and fell into thin air. 

“Yeah.” he said without confidence.

“Okay then let’s start.”

Peter moved toward where he felt Natasha was talking from. He tried to lean forward to see if he could hear where Natasha was standing. He listened for a creaking foot, the rustle of a sleeve, but fell short of anything.

He took two steps forward and lunged for something, ramming his hand onto the edge of the ring.

“Ouch. Natasha, you’re still in the ring right?” Silence. “Cause then if you’re not it wouldn’t be fair.” 

He took a step forward, and fell into the ropes. Peter got back up and turned around. 

“Um… Karen could you help me a bit?” Peter asked desperate for help.

“I’m sorry Mr. Parker. I have been disabled for this training.” Karen replied.

“Not cool, Natasha.”

He took one step forward only to be met by a swinging punching. 

“What the hell Nat!” Peter tried to counter back, ripping the blindfold off his face, only to be flipped onto the mat.

Peter closed his eyes. “That’s unfair.”

Natasha gave him a half smile. “Nothing ever is fair.” She held a hand to help him up. The two got up as they head the door to the gym open.

“Mr. Captain Steve America Sir” Peter stumbled. Natasha laughed.

“Queens.” Steve replied.

“Call him Great-Grandpa Rogers. He’s old enough.” Nat smirked, her eyes dancing with amusement to cover up the tension under her skin. It had been two weeks since Stark’s party, and there was still a little tension between the two of them.

“Very funny, Nat.” Steve replied. His voice was kind, but his blue eyes were cold and distant. “What have you two been up to?”

“Natasha’s trying to kill me! She’s making me fight blindfolded.” Peter grumbled worriedly. He knew that the Black Widow could kill him in an instant, and he really didn’t need to die before he could actually go to college. 

“The blindfold challenge?” Steve grinned back.

“She made you do that too?” Peter wondered, his eyes wide.

“Because both of you can't seem to fight without blindly throwing things at others.” she retorted.

“I shoot webs…” Peter retorted, raising his hand.

Natasha rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Fine. Watch me fight Steve. He’s probably almost twice my size, but I can take him because I know my strengths and how to protect my weakness,” Natasha stepped back into the ring, and to Steve, said, “Care to spar Captain? Her voice was pointed and confident, yet her hands shook from anxiousness and worry. A sad mirage fluttered across her face. 

Steve stepped into the ring, and the two circled around each other trying to get a punch in. Steve hit some slower punches, which Natasha dodged easily. “Growing old, grandpa?” The redhead raised an eyebrow as she landed a painful blow on his side. 

Steve frowned, and held onto her arm as she tried to go for a flip. Even though she usually could block his punches, Natasha must have slipped for a moment, because he still managed to grab onto both of her arms. She countered some of the punched Steve threw at her, and managed to get a few better ones in, but was still locked to the edge of the ring. But, the black widow pulled herself together and using the momentum she had and gravity to land a kick to his legs taking both of them down. 

They landed on the ground, their bodies intertwined, breathing the same air- skin touching skin, Steve’s hands pinning Natasha onto the floor. They were only inches apart and even Peter could feel the tension in the room. “Nat,” Steve whispered, as he reached a hand out to touch her face. Natasha’s heart was pounding. _Fuck it. Just kiss him already. Love doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human._ She started deeply into his eyes as--- 

“Okay,” a voice interrupted them. “Please don’t have sex in my compound while a minor is there. That would be totally awkward and his aunt is so going to kill me.”

“Stark,” Steve groaned. Natasha and Steve quickly separated from each other. It was harder to who was blushing more- Steve or Peter.

“Okay, kid. Now that is cleared up, want to stay for dinner,” Tony asked Peter. 

“Um. Sorry Mr. Stark. I have a date,” Peter replied with a cheesy grin on his face.

“You asked MJ out?” Natasha asked Peter incredulously. 

“No. Um, she kinda asked me out, and then Ned said yes for me, so,” Peter explained. Natasha laughed. 

“Go have fun kid. Take a shower. You’ll be fine,” Steve waved him off with a grin on his face. 

“You two want dinner?” Tony then asked.

“Yeah, if you don’t mind,” Steve replied, then turning to Nat, he said, “We need to talk first.”

“Okay. See you guys in a bit. Please don’t blow anything up.” Tony ran off, his tail tucked behind his legs. He did not want to be there when anything happened.

***

“What’s up,” Natasha asked nonchalantly. 

“What are we doing, Nat?” Steve asked pointedly.

“Steve.” Natasha sighed. 

Steve shook his head. A little more forcefully he said, “No, seriously, what are we doing. I don’t want to be playing your games anymore. We’ve been dancing around each other, trying to force someone to lead. We’ve been great friends, Nat, and when I said before about having shared life experiences, that was you. It’s always you”

Natasha’s heart broke recalling their conversation from what seemed like ages ago. She wanted this so much. But looking back on herself, the Red Room, Alexi, James, hell even Bruce- she couldn’t bear to get hurt again. Every time she loved, Natasha felt like a piece of her heart was branded and torn from herself, leaving a gaping hole behind. She took a breath. “Look, in this line of work, we can’t afford anything more. Otherwise people get hurt.”

“That’s what love is Nat!” Steve yelled, “We’re only human, the both of us. And while we hang out with crazy Gods and Giants and fight aliens, at the end of the day we’re human. You mean the world to me, Nat.”

“Do you think I don’t know that,” Natasha seethed, “Of course I do.” Her voice softened. “You’re like family to me Steve. You all are the only family I’ve ever had. We have something good here. I… I just do want to mess it up, okay?”

It was silent for a minute. Then Steve closed his eyes and nodded his head, “Okay.”

“Okay?” She tilted her head. She expected more of a fight. 

“Okay.”

Natasha straightened herself. “Good. Um, we have a mission tomorrow?”

“Yeah. Um, Lagos, Rumlow has been spotted there. He’s trying to buy a biological weapon.”

“Sam and Wanda again?”

“Yeah. Hopefully it will be an easy mission.”

Naturally, it all went to shit. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment and bookmark, more angst coming your way soon.


	3. Broken Visions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Turning to Clint, Natasha asked, “What happened to her?”
> 
> “Nothing good,” Clint answered with disgust, “They’d never seen anything like her powers before and tortured her really bad. She’s hurt badly, she needs to be checked out by a doctor or a professional. She, um, she’s going to need a lot of support,” as he turned to Natasha his eyes started to water, “She’s just a kid, Nat, we shouldn’t have let anything happen to her,” then he angrily turned to Steve. “You promised Cap. You promised. You said that this would be better, and while I agree with you, how the hell did this happen? We were supposed to be the avengers. Earth’s mightiest heroes, my ass. What the hell happened to us?”
> 
> Steve flinched and closed his eyes to shut out some of the hurt. What the hell happened to us. 
> 
> In other words, the civil war chapter. Enjoy :)

**Channel 52, CNN**  
We turn our attention to breaking news of new allegations of the Avenger's misuse of power. Secretary of State Thadeus Ross has commented on the situation, saying that there needs to be more restrictions on enhanced individuals, as they are threats and ‘have no control over themselves’. This is in response to the allegations of Wanda Maximoff, the Scarlet Witch as she is popularly called, losing control of her powers in Lagos, Nigeria.

**Channel 95, BBC News**  
“--- I disagree with some of the findings. How do we have the authority and power to control people’s lives? She, and the Avengers, have helped protect the earth from existential harms. I personally think this is a gross overstep of political power and international control.”

**Channel 19, The Daily Bugle**  
“I mean, how positive are we that the Scarlet Witch can actually control her powers. For all we know, she’s a foreigner from Slovakia. Can we confirm that she’s not employed by central European intelligence forces? How do we even know her---”

The TV clicked off. Wanda Maximoff turned around, burying her face into her knees. It was cloudy and dark outside, and the weather seemed to mirror the atmosphere in the compound. Everyone was on edge, especially after Ross proposed to set the accords into motion. She felt a presence in front of her, standing purposely in front of the doorway.

The red-headed spy was dressed formally in a fuchsia suit. Natasha sighed, “Wanda, how long are you going to torture yourself with all of this.” She knew that the teen had locked herself in her room and had been crying for days on end. Wanda was silent, and the quietness seemed to reverberate around the room.

Wanda finally spoke up quietly, “They’re coming for me, Nat,” Her voice broke, “Ross, the accords, the UN. I don’t, I don’t know what to do!” She felt more broken and afraid than after Pietro died. Wanda started to cry, and her hands started to shake, “I can’t do this anymore!” Scarlet energy flared from her hands and wove throughout the room. Natasha expected an explosion but after a moment, the energy died down, as Wanda collapsed into tears on the bed. Natasha then carefully sat down next to Wanda in the bed.

“We will protect you,” Natasha reassured her.

Wanda raised an eyebrow, “You really want to protect a ‘ticking-time-bomb and a weapon of mass destruction’?”

“You’re our teammate and a friends. Of course we will protect you.”

Wanda shook her head and bitterly laughed, and leaned into Natasha’s embrace.

She sniffled. “If you're here to lecture me, I know what you're going to say. Steve already covered those bases.”

“What did he say?,” Nat prompted.

“It’s not my fault,” Wanda answered, tears welling in her face.

“You know that it's true,” Natasha softly replied. “You couldn’t have done anything more.”

“Really?” gesturing to the T.V. screen, “They don’t seem to agree.”

“They weren’t there,” she replied, sympathetically, “Let’s go over what happened. We were chasing Rumlow in Lagos because he was trying to steal a biological weapon, and then--”

“We chased him through the marketplace, and he had a bomb strapped to his chest. We had him all surrounded and he was going to blow himself up as a last-ditch attempt. Sam, Steve, and you were all near him. If that bomb exploded you all would get hurt.” Wanda added

Natasha replied, “That’s very noble of you. You were using your powers to protect your teammates. What did you do next?”

“I tried to contain the impacts, like we practiced, but everything went wrong. And then people got hurt because of me.”

Natasha put her arm around the girl, and rubbed her back, “Look at me, Wanda. It’s true, the bomb hurt a lot of civilians,” Wanda flinched, “But let's backtrack, and if we didn’t go to Lagos at all and Rumlow got the biological weapon, one-third of the earth’s population would have died. We’re not perfect, and we make mistakes. In our line of work, mistakes do cost a lot. But we got to do the best we can because if we don’t, that’s on us.”

“People died because of me. It still doesn’t make it any easier.”

“Sometimes, we tried our best; there was no way out. You did the best you could with what you had. It’s really unfortunate that people died, and it stings a lot. It hurts, I know,” Natasha’s felt a stinging weight on her shoulder, “But you feeling upset because of what happened just means you’re a good person Wanda, and the world needs a lot more of people like you.”

“How can I make it up? Nothing I do can bring anyone back.”

“I know. We just have to save others the next time,” Natasha closed her eyes and repeated a mantra she’s been telling herself for years, “Try to balance out the ledger. I’m sorry about all of this,” Natasha gave Wanda a wry smile and a hug. She took a breath. “I’m off to Vienna to sign the accords. You’re going to be okay here?”

Wanda nodded. “Yeah. I think I’ll be okay.”

“Try to get some fresh air for me, please?”

Wanda smiled softly. “I’ll try.”

***

That was the last time Wanda talked to Natasha before the airport fight broke out. It was quite the spectacle, really, seeing all the avengers fighting each other. Best friends turned enemies, heroes turned villains. Wanda felt awful in the middle of it all seeing her family fight each other, but saw no other way. Ross was coming of her, and the accords were just a small step in order to take away her freedom. She felt bad when she knocked Natasha down, when she had to fight Tony, and hurt Vision, but she needed Steve and Bucky to get away to stop Zemo.

Tony, on the other hand, was pissed. The Avengers were his friends- no, family- really, and he just couldn’t understand why Steve was protecting the Winter Soldier. The accords were limiting, and he definitely knew that, but they weren’t important enough to tear the avengers apart.

***

Natasha stood on the top of the parking garage, watching her teammates fight each other. And, even though she wasn’t being physically hurt at the moment, Natasha flinched at the chaos and anger she saw. She turned and saw Steve trying to make it to the hanger where the Quinjet was stored. Natasha took a breath. She knew just what to do.

Natasha pressed her lips into a thin line and deftly made her way into the hanger. Her heart started to race as building in front started to fall. Could Steve actually die from a fight like this? As the dust settled, she breathed a sigh of relief as two outlines made their way to her.

Steve’s head snapped as she came into view, “Natasha,” he whispered resigned. Of course it would be her who would find out his next move. He lowered his shield warily; he couldn’t fight her.

“You’re not going to stop.”  
“You know I can’t.”

Natasha raised her bites as Steve closed his eyes waiting for the brunt of its force, when he heard them wizz past his ear, hitting the black panther.

“Go,” Natasha replied, pointedly. Steve rushed forward, and grasped her hand tightly. It was an unsaid promise to come back for her, to always stick together. They would always be there for each other; neither of them would ever have to be alone. Natasha nodded her head at Bucky and took her stand to face T’challa. She drew a breath. None of this would end well.

***

And as the battle drew to a close, and Ross’s agents stormed in to take them prisoner, Wanda knew she had made the right choice to not sign the accords.

The agents were brutal, efficient, and crude. The easily captured Scott, Sam, and Clint, but they took special attention to her. They drew various guns at her, pushing her roughly onto the ground. They were waiting for her to make a mistake so they could have an excuse to kill her. Wanda was terrified of their power and what they could do to her. One of them shot a dart at her whirring with electricity. Wanda screamed at the pain, which seemed to intensify every second. She could vaguely hear Clint and Sam’s futile shouts saying, “She’s just a kid! Don’t hurt her! Don’t you see, she’s not going to hurt you!”

She convulsed violently on the ground. The world faded to black.

***

“We?,” Tony bitterly spat out, “Must be the double agent thing. Sticks in the DNA. They’re coming for you, Nat.”

“Well, I’m not the one who needs to watch my back.” And with a twist of her hips, Natasha was once again a fugitive, gone with the wind.

***

In the cold streets of New York City, a cell phone line blinked. After seeing a familiar number on the line, a figure raced into the shadows, blending into the darkness to pick up the call.

“Sharon?” The redheaded questioned the voice on the other end of the phone. “Did you find anything out?” After she had run from Ross, Natasha sent a line to both Maria and Sharon to find where the avengers were being held prisoner.

“They’re being held in the Raft,” Sharon answered angrily, as Natasha frowned. “Completely off the books. It’s Ross’s own prison; he came up with the design and everything. It can’t be good.”

Natasha turned into a street corner so no one would hear the conversation. The light from the streetlamp illuminated her surroundings, but kept her in the shadows. She swore under her breath. “Call Hill. She’ll know the schematics. Use a burner, Ross has all our phones wired. I’ll call Cap. Rendezvous at Fury’s bunker. We’ll plan from there.”

She clicked the phone off and took the card out. Natasha then smashed it on the ground taking out another burner. One more call of make.

  
***

The line rang. With every beat of the ringtone, Natasha worried that somehow Ross had gotten to Steve as well. She took a breath and smiled a little as someone answered the phone.

“Natasha? Are you okay?” Steve asked concerningly.

“I’m okay,” Natasha replied softly, “But they’re in the raft, Steve, Ross’s own prison. It can’t be any good.”

“We need to get them out of there.” he replied pointedly.

“I know, Cap,” Natasha frustratedly replied, “What do you think I been doing? Maria and Sharon are already working on it. I’m sending you the coordinates. We’re meeting in Fury’s bunker to plan out our attack,” then hesitantly she added, “Do you trust me?”

“Always.” Steve closed his eyes. It was going to be okay

***

  
“Here are schematics and floor plans,” Maria said as she drew up the plans for the raft, “Three levels, only accessible by plane or boat. There are guards on every floor, and two sets of stairs on either side. Shift changes every six hours. It doesn’t obviously look like a prison, but with the amount of guards there, it can’t be anything else.”

“Look. Here,” Sharon said as she pointed to a back door, “That must be where they’re keeping them. The dimensions don’t add up to military regulations.”

Natasha nodded, “Okay, we’ll take the Quinjet there. It’ll be the easiest way. Cap and Bucky- you get the left side entrances. Maria, get to the control room, disable security and open the cells. Sharon, stay in the air and on comms in case we need backup. I’m going through the vents on the right side to access the lower levels.”

“Okay, then,” Steve answered wryly, “Let’s move out.”

  
***

  
Within a matter of minutes, the five were able to get into the control rooms, disable the security and make their way to the prison level. However, they were met with fire from the guards. Steve pulled Natasha to the side as a bullet whirred past her head. Sharon and Maria returned fire, as Natasha used her widow's bite to render a guard unconscious. Bucky fought of a guard with kicks and punches, mirroring Natasha’s fighting style. Eventually, all the guards were knocked unconscious and they started to open the prison doors.

Natasha ran to Clint’s cells, and she was able to bust open the lock using her batons.

“Clint!” she exclaimed, as she helped him out of his cell. “Laura and the kids are okay. I set them up in a safe house north of Oregon. They’re safe there. Ross still doesn’t know they exist.”

He breathed a sigh of relief. “Nat,” he swallowed, “it was bad here. Ross as a greater agenda; it’s not just the accords, there is something more.” He took a wobbly step forward, “But you are a good site for sore eyes,” he replied with a wry smile. “Let’s get out of here.”

Bucky walked over to where Sam was being held and used his metal arm to open the door. As he freed him, Bucky couldn’t help but smirk, “You still hate me?” Sam shook his head and ran past him to give Maria a hug.

Natasha and Steve two rushed towards where Wanda was being held and Natasha froze at the site. Steve knelt down to her level were the poor girl was curled up on herself, bruised and battered.

“Wanda,” he whispered, “You’re free now.” Steve reached a hand out to touch her, but she pulled back shaking and afraid.

“ _Nie_!” she murmured to herself, “ _Nie_. No You’re not real. No one’s coming for me. I’m alone. I’m alone. I’m alone.” Wanda flinched at the touch and backed into the corner of the cell. Bruises battered her side.

Natasha reached out to her, with a hand, “ _Teraz ste v bezpečí_ , You’re safe now.” Wanda stopped trembling and Steve pried the shock collar off of her.

Turning to Clint, Natasha asked, “What happened to her?”

“Nothing good,” Clint answered with disgust, “They’d never seen anything like her powers before and tortured her really bad. She’s hurt badly, she needs to be checked out by a doctor or a professional. She, um, she’s going to need a lot of support,” as he turned to Natasha his eyes started to water, “She’s just a kid, Nat, we shouldn’t have let anything happen to her,” then he angrily turned to Steve. “You promised Cap. You promised. You said that this would be better, and while I agree with you, how the hell did this happen? We were supposed to be the avengers. Earth’s mightiest heroes, my ass. What the hell happened to us?”

Steve flinched and closed his eyes to shut out some of the hurt. _What happened to us._ _What the hell happened to us._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and say your favorite part, or suggestions. Thanks for reading :) I promise I have not given up, just had a serious case of writer's block. Also, the first two chapters were rewritten, so please look at those two again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, please comment your thoughts/reactions/ storylines you may want to be included :)


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